This article is written by Laurel Dickman and was published on Wear Your Voice.com on July 27, 2015.
"Prior to my ex, I always tried to figure out a way to cover up my body when it came to sex. I was a big believer in “fake it ‘til you make it” and developed a dual persona in my later teen years. The side I showed the world was the big, bombastic, confident fat woman that was everyone’s confidante who gave great advice on how to love one’s self and look good. Internally, I was doubting every item of clothing that I put on, every declaration of love or compliment about my beauty. I had experienced sexual abuse at a young age and kept hurting myself in similar ways, under the proclamation of reclaiming my sexuality. By nineteen, I had turned fucking into a sport and I was gathering trophies into my late twenties between serial relationships.
Even in those relationships, I was afraid of truly letting my partners see me – both emotionally and physically. I hid behind blankets on the bed..."